By Amy Morgan

Walk with the Lord long enough, and most will find truth in the words of the Apostle Paul—God provides strength in places of weakness. Others have experienced how God uses failure to inspire others.

Brady and Melissa Vandeberg experienced God’s redemptive power in their lives and marriagefirst-hand, as he took them from a place of brokenness to full-time service in marriage ministry. Their story serves a shining contradiction to anyone’s fear that their background or decisions make them ineligible for God’s kingdom work.

Thirty years ago, two 19-year-olds from dysfunctional homes met and married. They “thought they could do better” than what they had seen at home and started “living the American dream,” pursuing jobs, raising a family — like so many others in cities and states across the country every day. What they didn’t realize — the ugly habits from their families of origin were crumbling the foundation of their marriage. And as their relationship wasn’t rooted on Christ and his word or strengthened by fellowship with other believers, Brady’s childhood exposure topornography bubbled into an affair that threatened to tear their family apart.

During that time, Melissa had begun attending church without Brady. It wasn’t until Brady’s affair was exposed, and he risked losing his marriage and his family, that he turned his heart to God. As Brady puts it, he “begged God to fix the mess I had made.” God showed him before he needed the mess fixed, Brady needed Him. Brady committed his life to Christ, and the Vandebergs began a painful, three-year process to rebuild their marriage.

Greatest Misery Transformed into Greatest Ministry

While working to rebuild trust and seek the Lord, Brady and Melissa found little direct help. They immersed themselves in God’s word. Brady voraciously listened to sermons and Christian messages on the radio. They joined a small church in their rural Wyoming community and joined Bible studies and Sunday School. They were inspired by Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God, that teaches how to hear and follow God. They began to pray together, “We want to be where you want us to be,” little knowing what God already was putting into place for them.

It was a mandatory move with Brady’s work to a new community in Wyoming that opened their eyes to God plan for them to serve as Bible study leaders in the woman’s prison in that town. “It was one of the most amazing, God-ordained orchestrations,” Melissa said. “We said a prayer and were willing for God to put us somewhere.” Unbeknownst to the Vandebergs, a ministry team had been working for more than a year previously to establish a Bible study at the prison right where the Vandebergs were reluctantly moving. However, when the program was ready to begin, a new prison chaplain informed the national study representatives the study had lost its local leader.

Just weeks before, Melissa had attended a Beth Moore conference where Beth mentioned in passing she had been moved by the worship at the prison she had visited. Melissa remembers vividly how all the hair on her body stood on end as Beth mentioned the word prison…. And this was before the Vendebergs had any knowledge about a need.

While these events were transpiring, the Bible study’s national team visited another Wyoming church miles away to plead for a couple to lead the prison ministry. One of Melissa’s close friends happened to attend the service. “By chance” she mentioned the request to Melissa. God orchestrated every detail — even down to the date of their move coinciding with the study’s start by less than a week. For those not familiar with the restrictions and red-tape involved with government institutions, the circumstances and timing of the Vandeberg’s prison ministry service were nothing short of miraculous.

“We saw God’s greater plan as we moved from a place of discomfort to trust,” Melissa added. This would not be the first time the Vandebergs prayed boldly together and saw God move in ways that didn’t always seem intuitive. As they led in the prison, they found transparently sharing the story of their relational brokenness and background opened hearts and served as a point of connection with those they were leading.

“They could relate to coming from a messed-up family,” Brady said. “We started seeing peoples’ lives transformed as we built relationships and trust.” Next, they felt God calling them to share “their secret” with others in the church and community. They actually had known their pastor for five years before they revealed their story to him, Melissa said. Rather than rejecting them, he asked for their help walking alongside a couple in a similar situation. This began their journey as marriage mentors. Despite having no training in counseling or mentoring, they shared their story of God’s redeeming work in their lives. In the ensuing years, eight of the 10 couples they mentored experienced restored marriages. Eventually, the Vandebergs were spending so much of their time ministering to others they sought certification in Marriage and Family Coaching through Light University. They continued leading Bible studies and marriage weekend events using well-known resources like Art of Marriage, until they felt themselves stretched to the breaking point.

So many churches were asking them to bring resources, they were raising/homeschooling their two children, Brady was working to provide for the family and Melissa was running a home business. While they considered going into full-time ministry – they thought they’d need to wait until the kids were grown and Brady retired. But they continued to pray together, “God we want to be where you want us to be,” adding, “God, we are willing to surrender to full-time ministry, if you will show us how.”

They took a couple to FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember in Colorado, (FamilyLife does not yet host the event in Wyoming.) where they signed up for a “Ministry Opportunities Meeting.” They thought FamilyLife was looking for volunteers to help, Melissa said. But instead, FamilyLife was seeking full-time marriage and family missionaries. They agreed to a meeting, but the Vandebergs felt certain their role was to help families of Wyoming. FamilyLife was headquartered in Little Rock. One thing led to the other, including the provision of financial support in record time (another door opened by God), and just as God orchestrated their move before to the small town of Lusk, Wyoming, where their prison ministry began, God moved them to Little Rock — three weeks before the headquarters’ move to Florida and just months before the pandemic.

The Vandebergs knew they did not feel called to move to Florida and wondered why God had so clearly directed them to Arkansas at that time. “Our hearts are deeply rooted in helping rural communities in the West,” Melissa said. They found residence in Arkansas during that two-year period of the pandemic transition allowed them to fast-track their training and make connections in Weekend to Remember host cities for which they were responsible. In 2019 FamilyLife shifted focus from being event centric to community centric, with greater vision for year-round ministries in communities.

While working on logistics for San Antonio’s Weekend to Remember as FamilyLife Representatives, Brady and Melissa connected with President and Founder of the San Antonio Marriage Initiative (SAMI) Carl Caton. SAMI had been working since 2004 to support and connect those working to encourage marriages. In 2021, SAMI began a city project to see what it would look like to replicate their model elsewhere.

The lightbulbs began to go off for the Vandebergs. Although still responsible for the Weekend to Remember events and follow-up for San Antonio and South Padre Island, they convinced FamilyLife to allow them to return to Wyoming, with a dual role as FamilyLife Field Missionaries, as well as being part of the Local Expansion Movement for Wyoming. “We felt like God made it clear we needed to go back to Wyoming,” Melissa said. This year they founded the Wyoming Strong Families Initiative modeled after SAMI to cast a vision across the community and become a resourcing network.

“The demand is there: broken marriages and families,” Melissa said. “It is not hard to convince people there’s a problem. There’s just a poor connection to the supply. 85% of our churches don’t have an organized marriage or family ministry. We need to train more lay leaders and increase the church’s capacity.” Feedback has been positive. The Vandebergs were told by one supporter, “We’ve heard this passion before, but you guys are coming from the experience of working with FamilyLife for four years and have the association and backing of SAMI.

The Wyoming Strong Families Initiative now partners with SAMI’s City Project, following its framework and receiving guidance, mentorship and hopefully, funding. The Vandebergs continue to meet with Carl and the SAMI team for support, advice and resources. So many people feel alone, and the marriage ministry and family crisis feels overwhelming, Melissa said. You can seek mentors and support from ministries like SAMI. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.